Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
