nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
