I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
