To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
