This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
