i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
