I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
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