I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
