Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
