i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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