Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
