just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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