Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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