paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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