got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I want her autograph on my taint
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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