i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
