Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
