Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
