I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
