All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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