I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
