I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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