Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
