Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
