at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
