i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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