By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
