So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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