when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize