I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
