Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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