He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
