He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
