he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
