I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
