Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
