never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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