How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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