This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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