Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
