Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
