so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
