Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
We smell like vodka and hangover
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