I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize