So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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