I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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