He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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