It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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