I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
