He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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