Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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