We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
