he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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