Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
