Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
