Im at strip club and am horny
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize