Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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