I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
