no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
