your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
cat food counts as protein by the way
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
